


shadows all around us

by shipthemboys



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, dont want to put too much into tags and give it all away, i dont know what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 10:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipthemboys/pseuds/shipthemboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's too much and Louis has had enough. They can mess with him all they want but when Harry is hurting as a result, that's game over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	shadows all around us

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah. I wrote this after watching a lot of LouisAndHarry videos on YouTube and I just got angry at everyone and had to write this to get my feels out. 
> 
> Dedicated, as always, to my munchkins. Hai Jen and Hanza. Hope you like it. #WeHadAHashtagButIForgotIt
> 
> Disclaimer; only the plot belongs to me. Please don't sue me, I'm poor.

He has had enough. This was going to end now and nothing was going to get in his way. This was getting far too hard and far too emotionally and mentally draining and Louis couldn't handle it anymore. Well, maybe he could but after seeing what Harry was going through as well because of him, he didn't think it was worth it anymore. They had kept it a secret long enough and for goodness sake, it wasn't like everyone was fooled. Anyone with half a brain and one eye could see what was going on right in front of them. 

So what if they lose some of their fans? The true ones will stay and still support them. That will weed out the fanbase and they will know who really cares for them and who just likes them for the pretty boy image that they are forces to put out to the media. 

Media. They will have a field day with this, that's for sure. Will keep it over them for the rest of their lives surely. Won't be able to talk to anyone without it being plastered all across the front page. Then again, it won't be a big change from what was being printed about them already. 

The boys will understand, hell, they were the ones who supported them the most and had their backs when things got particularly hard. Good ol' lads. 

Louis was happy that he had such great friends, because he wouldn't be able to do what he was planning to do without them. They will get some bad press as well, no doubt about that, but it was worth it. He was doing it just for him. Louis was sacrificing everything for one person. One person he loved more than anything and anyone in the entire world. Ever. Harry.

Harry was worth it all. Because it didn't matter that Louis had been in a fakeship for the past couple years. He could handle it, he was strong. He could pretend for a few days in a year because that ment that he could spend the rest of that time with the boy he loved. 

But it wasn't that simple anymore. When at first they were allowed to sit together and hug each other, now they had to make sue with secret glances across from each other and stolen touches while passing by. 

It wasn't living. It was surviving from one moment to the next and it wax killing them. Him. Harry. It was killing Harry and Louis won't stand for it anymore. 

The final straw came when Louis was in his bed, listening to music on his headphones, of Harry's voice. That was the only way he could fall asleep now a days. He had almost been asleep when he heard the front door of their sharers flat bang open and after careful consideration deducted that Harry had come home drunk. Must have been out with Nick again. 

Louis was almost ready to get out of bed and help the younger boy out when he heard music start playing from outside his door. He recognised it as his own voice. His sixteen year old voice. Where would Harry -? 

"Oh no" Louis whispered to himself. "Oh Harry"

Harry, turns out had found his old YouTube channel and had downloaded the few covers Louis had done and was now playing them. 

How long has this been going on, Louis wondered stepping closer to the door. He wasn't even supposed to be here, he was supposed to be visiting his mum, but came back as a surprise for Harry. 

Who was currently, by the sounds of it, crawling to his bedroom. Rolling his eyes, Louis stepped out his room and found Harry on all fours slowly moving forward. Actually, moving, might have been a bit strong of a word. He was more like swaying side to side in one spot, with his phone clutched in his hand. 

"Come on big guy, let's get you to bed" Louis said with a sigh and put his arms around Harry's middle pulling him to his feet to drag him towards the bed. 

"Louis?" Harry squinted his eyes and leaned closer to Louis, checking if the older boy was there, surprise shown on his face. 

"No, it's father Christmas" Louis muttered holding all of Harry's weight on him as they made their way inside and he let go of Harry, dropping him onto the bed. "What am I going to do with you?" Shaking his head, Louis started undressing the curly haired lad, tossing the clothes aside not caring about them.  
"I can think of a few things" Harry chuckled and lifted his arms when Louis was taking off his shirt.

His skinny jeans were a bit of a struggle to take off. Louis had half a mind to leave them on but knew how uncomfortable they will get. Ignoring Harry's remark, he set out to pull them off the boy. Took all of seventeen minutes, mostly because Harry was pulling them muttering something about how he can't back up and how he can't take them off because of ... Well, Louis to this day doesn't know what he said. But they got them off and Harry moved under the covers. 

Louis was ready to leave him to sleep when he felt fingers grab hold of the back of his own shirt. He paused and turned to glance back. It pained him to see the expression across Harry's face. So full of hurt. 

"Don't leave me, please, Lou" Harry's voice broke as he spoke. Half from being drunk, even thought Louis wa starting to suspect he wasn't that drunk, and from the pain he was feeling. 

So Louis did what they always did when they felt down. He lifted the covers and slid into bed next to Harry, putting his arms over him. 

Louis didn't say anything, just held him and occasionally ran his fingers through Harry's hair. He was almost sure that Harry was asleep when he heard him speak. 

"It hurts, you know. This. Us. Not being able to do anything. I'm tired of turning the other way when she's with you. Tired of looking happy, like nothing affects me. Like I adore all the female attention I get and want to sleep with every girl they send my way. I hate it, Lou. I really hate it. And what's worse, is that I can't tell you this because I don't want you to feel like it's your fault. Because you will. And I love you too much to do that to you. So I'll just say all this in my head and pretend that I'm alright" 

Louis kept silent as Harry spoke. He was going to tell Harry that he hates it too and that he's glad he told him, but half way through the speech it became clear that Harry thought he didn't say it out loud. So he let the lad talk and when he was sure he was asleep, Louis kissed the top of Harry's head, whispered that he loves him too and carefully climbed out of the bed. 

In the morning when Harry finally dragged himself out of bed, Louis was in he living room watching tv. 

"Good morning, sunshine!" Louis said cheerfully, beaming at Harry. 

Harry, hearing the voice, looked up and froze for a moment. Did last night really happen or was it a dream? Having a pounding headache, he groaned and flopped down onto the couch, his head in Louis' lap, pulling the blanket down over him from the back of the sofa. 

"Rough night?" Louis asked, hiding a smirk. 

Nodding in responce, Harry pulled the blanket over his head and relaxed when Louis started raking his fingers through his hair. Harry loved when Louis did that. He moved his head at times to make Louis' fingers move to a different direction and an hour later he was feeling much better. 

"Louis?"

"Yes, Harreh" 

"When did you come back?"

Louis didn't answer for a moment, thinking if he should tell the truth or not. He settled on the former. 

"Last night"

"So it did happen then" Harry said and lifted himself in a sitting position, pulling his brows together when Louis started laughing. "What?"

"You look like a baby hedgehog" Louis told him and moves his hand over the mess of curls, no success with flattening the strands. "But a cute one" 

"I'm always cute" 

"Agree to disagree" Louis nodded. "What do you remember?"

Harry looked away in that moment, not being able to handle the stare. Getting up, he began walking towards their bathroom. "Not much, just something about the floor being very close to my face" He grinned and rolled his shoulder in a shug, closing the door behind him. 

How could he have been so stupid to get drunk and tell Louis everything he was feeling. He was supposed to keep his mouth shut and suffer in silence. He was good at that. 

Curling his fingers around the edge of the sink, Harry looked at his reflection and a small smile tugged on his lips. He really did look like a hedgehog. 

God, he was so stupid! Louis was probably sitting there hating Harry for putting all of this on his shoulders. As if Louis didn't have enough shit to deal with. 

He loved him so much. So much it hurt. And all he wanted was for Louis to be happy. And if he had to pretend to be fine so he can see a smile on Louis' face then that's what Harry was going to do. 

Quickly showering and brushing his teeth, Harry came out with a towel wrapped around his torso, ready to tell Louis to forget everything that he said in his drunken state, but was met with an empty flat. 

Frowning, because Louis had never done that before, he got dressed and grabbed his phone, noticing at the last minute the note stuck to the mirror in the hallway. 

'I'm sorry you have to go through all that, Harry. I'll fix it, I promise.  
Yours always, Louis'

Harry snatched the note and dug his phone out, running out the door. 

"Zayn, get everyone and meet me half way. He's finally doing it"

*******

As soon as Harry had closed the door behind him, Louis knew what he had to do. Harry couldn't even look at him properly this morning, that's how much he was hurting. 

So Louis got up, stuck the note, grabbed his jacket and left the flat. He calculated that he had about twenty minutes before Harry was done with his shower and would come after him. Or maybe he wouldn't. Maybe Harry would just let Louis come out and leave the band. That way, no one got hurt in the long run. Except for Louis himself, hut he was a big boy, he can handle it. 

Seeing the building ahead of him, Louis looked for a parking space, ignoring his vibrating phone in his pocket. 

Would that be Harry? Asking him to not do it? How many times have they talked about this? They had it all planned out. Six years. And then they come out and leave the band. If there was a band still. But this was only three years. And he was done. He was drained. Enough was enough. 

Finding an empty spot in a corner, Louis parked up and switched his phone off, seeing ten missed calls from Harry, and a dozen other calls and texts. But nothing mattered anymore. 

Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Louis slowly walked towards the main entrance. 

A car stopped right in front of him and he was about to swear at the driver when he saw all his band mates getting out. Liam, Zayn and Niall stayed back by the car, Harry was the only one who rushed towards him and threw his long arms around Louis. 

"Please don't do this, Louis, it isn't worth it" Harry whispered, holding Louis in a tight embrace, afraid that if he let's go, the older boy will go and do something stupid. He knew how Louis felt about it al, but Harry didn't want to be the reason Louis throws everything away. 

"Harry!" Pulling away from his arms, Louis pushed Harry. "Harry let go, I can't breathe for gods sake!" 

Harry complied and relaxed his arms, so that Louis could step back slightly but still kept his arms on his shoulders. 

"Harry, it's not that simple. You said it yourself, you're hurting and I won't put you through that any longer. It's better for everyone if I just leave" 

"Better for who, you? Because it won't be better for me. You leave, I leave" 

"This isn't titanic, Harry, be serious for a moment and step away."

"You want me to be serious, fine, here, I'm serious now. If you go inside that building and tell them that's its over and that you won't do what they want, and leave the band, I'm going with you. And before you say anything, no I'm not being ridiculous. I love you, Louis. I do, so so much. I've loved you all this time and I don't want to, no, I won't accept not having you in my life. So if you're doing this, I'm doing it with you" Harry finished and pulled Louis closer to him, his voice almost a whisper. 

They were so close to each other now, just a little dip and their lips would connect. Their eyes locked and both were scared, unsure of what to do, what will happen. 

But they were sure of one thing; if they were together, they can do anything. 

Closing the small gap between them, Louis pressed his lips against Harry's. It was slow and gentle at first but become slightly more heated with time. 

Hearing someone fake cough, the boys pulled apart, looking at each other before turning to the lads by the car. 

"If anyone would care to know our share in all this" Zayn started, holding a cigarette between his fingers. "If one is going, we're all going" 

"And, um, also, Louis?" Liam said, nodding his head behind Louis anf Harry. "It looks like ir has been taken out of your hands now" 

The boys turned their heads to where Liam was looking and saw a small group of girls with their phones our and giggling. 

Hearing someone laugh behind them, they turned back to the car and saw Niall laughing his head off while holding his phone. "'ts all over twitter. You're out, lads" 

Harry looked at Louis, worried at how he was going to react. It won't be smooth sailing for a very long time, but this was good, right? 

"Guess that's that then" Louis said and wound one arm around Harry's middle. "Come on, hedgehog, let's go home" 

Everyone climbed back into the car and Zayn drove them all back to the apartment. Louis and Harry went into the bedroom right away and locked the door behind them. Three minutes later all their phones buzzed. Looking at the tweet, the boys grinned. 

And there it was; a picture of Louis and Harry kissing while holding a small paper in their hands. 

"What does it say? I can't see it on my phone" Niall said moving the phone closer and further from his face. 

"It is what it is" Louis said when he walked out with Harry, holding each others hand. 

"Does that mean we can eat now?" 

Everyone laughed and Harry nodded, telling Niall to use their kitchen as his own. 

"No regrets?" Harry asked Louis later in the evening when it was just the two of them sitting on the couch, Harry's head in Louis lap like in the morning. 

"As long as you still love me when shit hits the fan, no regrets ever" 

"Good" Harry grinned and turned back to the telly. He had no clue what was on. He was too busy thinking of all Tue things he and Louis could do now. 

Sure, the management will try to spin in somehow that the pictures where photoshoped, but they can always release more.


End file.
